This year, for the first time in over 2000 years, the ides of March will fall on the 19th. The date wasn't considered ominous until Plutarch reported a soothsayer predicting Caesar's assassination on the 15th (the ides, in case anyone doesn't know). And then a few hundred years ago Shakespeare (to the irritation of H.S. freshmen all over the U.S.) reinforced the notion. The ides, with all of it's perilous connotations, falls on the 19th this year because the 19th (tomorrow) is the big day for my knee surgery -- an ominous epochal event in my book.
The hospital gives every knee patient a spiral notebook which explains what's going to happen, how to navigate the hospital, prepare your home, where and how to get rehab and etc. etc.
Included is a web site with a simple-minded cartoon game that takes you through (with ample illustrations) the procedure: www.edheads.org/activities/knee. Simple-minded, but with chills and thrills if you're vividly empathetic and not sedated.
After watching the cartoon, I have a theory about how the procedure developed.
In the beginning, the surgeon went to a lot of trouble with straps, clamps, hot glue and a vice-grip to hold the cutting jig in place.
(The cutting jig is a very good thing. Any carpenter can tell you that you make cleaner more accurate cuts when you use a jig)
So keeping the jig in position was always a difficult part of the operation. On one occasion the surgeon was having a particularly hard time of it, cursing and swearing, vowing to retire immediately if things didn't improve post haste, when his assistant asked: "Why don't you just nail it in place?" The surgeon said: "What?!" and the assistant explained: "Nail it. As long as you don't use ring-shank nails they'll pull out easy as pie and you won't have to mess with all these clamps and stuff."
And the surgeon did just that. Taking all the praise for the idea, as people in charge usually do.
(The cartoon shows a light tack hammer being used. I suspect they actually use a two pound framing hammer)
So by this time tomorrow I'll have a new knee (possibly ensuring cavity searches at the airport) and be on my way to retiring my crutches and brace.
Books: Just one of interest: Arguably essays (Christopher Hitchens) A great thick tome of essays covering authors, ideas, politics movies and actors and etc. A good display of his skills as an essayist, but I did start skipping parts. I simply wasn't interested in everything he wrote about. It would have been better to read a few at a time, rather than going straight through. His famed atheism was on scant display. DA
P.S. From dw: given my penchant for decorating, it has been suggested that I do something creative with the brace perhaps turning it into a "summer" tree loosely based on the "spring" tree I currently have in the living room. I am open to suggestion and if anyone has a creative or not so creative idea please say so. All submissions will be the property of danddontheroad and will not be returned. There will be a prize, as decided by me, for the best idea, as decided by me. Good luck. dw
The hospital gives every knee patient a spiral notebook which explains what's going to happen, how to navigate the hospital, prepare your home, where and how to get rehab and etc. etc.
Included is a web site with a simple-minded cartoon game that takes you through (with ample illustrations) the procedure: www.edheads.org/activities/knee. Simple-minded, but with chills and thrills if you're vividly empathetic and not sedated.
After watching the cartoon, I have a theory about how the procedure developed.
In the beginning, the surgeon went to a lot of trouble with straps, clamps, hot glue and a vice-grip to hold the cutting jig in place.
(The cutting jig is a very good thing. Any carpenter can tell you that you make cleaner more accurate cuts when you use a jig)
So keeping the jig in position was always a difficult part of the operation. On one occasion the surgeon was having a particularly hard time of it, cursing and swearing, vowing to retire immediately if things didn't improve post haste, when his assistant asked: "Why don't you just nail it in place?" The surgeon said: "What?!" and the assistant explained: "Nail it. As long as you don't use ring-shank nails they'll pull out easy as pie and you won't have to mess with all these clamps and stuff."
And the surgeon did just that. Taking all the praise for the idea, as people in charge usually do.
(The cartoon shows a light tack hammer being used. I suspect they actually use a two pound framing hammer)
So by this time tomorrow I'll have a new knee (possibly ensuring cavity searches at the airport) and be on my way to retiring my crutches and brace.
Books: Just one of interest: Arguably essays (Christopher Hitchens) A great thick tome of essays covering authors, ideas, politics movies and actors and etc. A good display of his skills as an essayist, but I did start skipping parts. I simply wasn't interested in everything he wrote about. It would have been better to read a few at a time, rather than going straight through. His famed atheism was on scant display. DA
P.S. From dw: given my penchant for decorating, it has been suggested that I do something creative with the brace perhaps turning it into a "summer" tree loosely based on the "spring" tree I currently have in the living room. I am open to suggestion and if anyone has a creative or not so creative idea please say so. All submissions will be the property of danddontheroad and will not be returned. There will be a prize, as decided by me, for the best idea, as decided by me. Good luck. dw
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