Reference Books: Hah! I Laughed In Their Face

   For the second time (that I'm aware of) the author of a blog that I follow (Other Men's Flowers) published a list of 20 questions. Since I do enjoy useless trivia I went through the list with reasonable success, patted myself on my back, and went back to keeping up with the Beavises and Buttheads (aka the current presidential race)
   (I told dw of my trivia success. She said: "That's nice dear." ---- I'm impressed that I know hematite is a type of iron ore)
   (dw wants it known that she also has a fund of trivia, including: Riddick Bowe and Evander Holyfield fought for the heavyweight championship in the '90s -- interesting since dw has no interest at all in boxing.)

   A cautionary tale: The subject of trivia reminded me of the time, a few years ago, I was reading an encyclopedia (Encarta) and came across an error. Under the subject of stained glass, the accompanying photo of San Chapelle was misidentified as Notre Dame. That error wasn't as momentous as describing the Fibonacci sequence as a series of pasta shapes would be, but it still shows a certain carelessness. And last week I was reading "Western Words" a dictionary of the American West (by Ramon F. Adams) and came across a really appalling entry.  He defines misery whip as "A logger's term for a cant hook."  The aptly named misery whip is actually a large cross cut saw.  I was on the blister end of one of those saws a few times when, many years ago, I was on a forest fire lookout.  I'm not claiming much real experience but anyone who knows anything at all about the subject knows that a misery whip is a big human powered saw, not a cant hook, hooker, peavey, sky hook or anything but a saw.    
   Even if it's printed in a reference book, as Sportin' Life says:  "It ain't necessarily so"

   We're presently in the midst of Halloween.  It's her turn so dw has door duty tonight.  Me: "You've got door-duty, but that's better than do-duty." dw: "I've got enough do-duty at work.  I'm an all around do-door-duty person." --- Our witty repartee for the evening.

   Books:  "Whatever Gets You Through The Night" (Andrei Codrescu) I am only familiar with him through his commentaries on public radio so this book was a bit of a surprise.  It's sort of a retelling and sort of about, Sheherezade and the 1001 nights.  With comments about the story and the stories and the translators and the present day all thrown in with lots of footnotes and author's asides to boot.  It's interesting and entertaining and occasionally funny and kind of annoying.  An odd mix. 
   And "About Rothko" (Dore Ashton) -- which, as everyone probably can guess, is about Mark Rothko. Interestingly (if I ever knew this, I'd forgotten it) he emigrated from Russia to Portland, OR as a child, and grew up in Portland.  He had his first solo show in Portland at the Art Museum (after he had moved to New York).
   Reading of and seeing pictures of his early work (influenced by impressionists, cubists, fauvists and just about everyone else) and following his progress (or whatever) into his later monumental paintings with their large masses of color, follows the history of 20th century art.  I haven't finished reading the book, but so far I'd recommend it to anyone interested in art history.  DA

We Should Be On TV

These trees are across the street from our front door.   They aren't yet showing their full color, but they certainly enhance the view from our porch.
 
    Monday I had my one year/10,000 mile check-up.  It was all good and I get to drop one of my daily pills -- just in time to apply the pill cost to my car which won't start.  The car isn't even trying to start, it just sits there, a 3000lb. lump.  I've checked a couple of things and over the next couple of days I'll replace a couple of parts.  After that I'll limp around on my sore foot which I'll get because I'm going to kick the damn thing before I tow it to a shop.
  
   The other day, public broadcasting had a show on TV about ferrets.  We didn't watch it since dw really isn't fond of ferrets, but it reminded me of an article from Outside magazine about Ferret Legging.  Ferret Legging is a "sport" wherein the competitors tie off the cuffs of their pants, stuff in a couple of ferrets, and compete to see who can stand it the longest.  The putative world record is 5 hours 26 minutes.  It's considered a dying sport (Can you imagine why?!) but there have been stirrings of local interest.  As a competitor said:  "You have to be ready to have your tool bitten and not care."  The sport possibly arose in Yorkshire public houses (Scotland --I'm not sure why -- also claims to have started it ) And it's easy to see how a warm pint or ten or fifteen could lead to ferret legging. 
   And lest people think I'm maligning the Brits -- (My god! Are the British Isles so boring that for excitement men get a snootful and then stuff their pants with rapacious toothy, clawing animals?) --- For a couple of years Richmond, Virginia has had a Ferret Legging contest, but I'm pretty sure the beer of choice isn't warm and is probably PBR or Bud Lite  ("We might have lost the Civil War,  but by god! we'll show you Yanks.  We're gonna stuff some ferrets in our pants!")  But there's more:  St. Vital Park, Winnipeg also has a contest.  Though I doubt if it's the same (but kudos to Canada for trying): in Winnipeg every one's tool would be frozen and even the most eager ferret would find it hard to get traction.

   This afternoon dw stopped knitting and checked for email.  I paused from reading and said:  "We should have our own reality show on TV."  dw: "Why so?"  "It would be titled: The Last Best Hope For Insomniacs"  We've had a quiet week. 

Books:  Perfect Figures (Bunny Crumpacker) A history of numbers -- how they came to have their present form and function.  Very little actual math and an easy read.  Very enjoyable.  The Velocity of Honey (Jay Ingram)  Another science light -- a collection of essays "science of everyday life"  -- a little denser than the previous book but still an easy interesting read.  And Visible Bones (Jack Nisbet)  Natural history essays about the Columbia River Basin.  Well written and a good read.  I've enjoyed this one so much that I'm going to look for another one of his books: Sources of the River,

  

A Modest Proposal*

   I read in the paper (The Oregonian 10/9/11 -- Washington Post - Bloomberg) that  Florida State Rep.  Ritch Workman (R) has introduced a bill in Florida to rescind the ban on "dwarf-tossing".  Workman claims that his measure isn't a jobs bill, but he also says it will enable a few little people to work instead of standing in an unemployment line, where, because of their limited stature they might not even be noticed. 
   (When I read the headline to dw she said:  "Please tell me that's from the Onion".)
  -- For anyone who doesn't know, "dwarf-tossing"  is a tavern competition where some drunks see who can throw a small person the farthest. --
   Regardless of the merits of this particular bill, Rep. (R) Workman is showing the all too common limitation that plagues politicians -- a limited imagination.  While he's about it he needs to introduce a bill legalizing baby tossing.  Baby tossing is an age-long, world-wide occupation. 
   In southern India, babies are thrown off a fifty foot tower and caught in a blanket held by several men -- to the enjoyment of everyone concerned (apparently even the babies since there's no record of a single baby complaint -- crying doesn't count since babies frequently cry for no reason at all).  For people who don't have a baby, baby-rich people could rent out their children for tossing about.  Traditionally babies -- particularly tossable babies -- make little if any effort to contribute to their family's finances -- so baby hurling would add an entire new class of work that would add to the GDP.
   Since some people (probably liberals) might sneer at Baby Tossing as a low class sport it should be noted that English nobility threw babies around for a good many years (the infant brother of Henry IV died when somebody missed as he was being tossed from window to window -- The only recorded fatality connected with the sport -- so Baby Tossing is safer than rodeo bull riding and there's no need to find a 2000 pound bull)
  
Not that it concerns me (the Revolutionary War and all), but the English could widen the sport by tossing a few adult royals from window to window.  The royals seem mostly to just ponce about and they could be be put to good use by being tossed about.  As a tourist attraction I think watching Prince Charles tossed out a window would be a huge draw.  He'd land on a giant air bag  and the bookies could offer odds on whether (ear-wise) he'd fly or just glide.

   And on the subject of royals I'm reminded of the great gaseous farts from the press regarding the recent Kardashian wedding.  (According to the press)  America's "royal wedding".  As if.  At least none of the English royals have ever released a porn video, although a few years ago Koo Stark had a lot of potential.   And so it goes.  DA

*Apologies to Jonathan Swift -- but he's been dead for 250 years, so why should he care?

Taking Care of Business

   I believe I've found out about the three ships I wrote of on 7-17-11 (What The Hell ?).  I stopped at a nearby boat yard and asked one of the workmen about the three giant tents on the barge.  He told me that they are used to shelter yachts while being worked on.  The barge is just used as a movable floating dock, and the white framed tents are just stored there until needed.      Mundane and sort of boring.  Definitely a sight best left for the imagination to conjure on. 
   And the two ships with the large radar domes?  Here I'm guessing (the Swan Island ship yard doesn't let people wander around asking questions) but the ships are probably connected with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, which is establishing it's NW home port in Newport.  Portland is the nearest place to work on large ships.  Again sort of boring.  Much more interesting to imagine a CIA / NSA operation with men and women in fedoras, raincoats and dark glasses scurrying about.  Easier to imagine a few years ago.  The scene only needs Cheney sneering in the background -- panting at the thought of more waterboarding. 

    Recently Drew commented on the 5-5-11 blog  (Profligate Blue Jay).  He pointed out that Guam uses more Spam (nearly three times as much per person) than Hawaii.  He also mentioned a special Spam that Hormel developed particularly for Guam.    A Tabasco Spam -- So now I have to look around for Tabasco Spam.  It sounds -- great isn't the right word -- interesting.

   Completely irrelevant:  The Jackson Hole Daily (9-23) carried an article about an endangered 10 foot American crocodile (most American "crocodiles" are alligators) discovered in a Florida gated community.  At the end of the story the article said that Lindsey Hord -- Florida crocodile response coordinator -- urged people not to feed or touch alligators or crocodiles and to keep pets away from them.
   "Oh, Look Ma!!  There's a ten foot gator over there.  Man he sure has a lot of teeth.  I know!!  Let's go pet it!"  "That's a great idea Pa!  And I'll bring Fifi.  Maybe they'll play together!"   I'm not sure the Lindsey Hord type of warnings should be given -- Such warnings only help those type of people survive and breed. 

  
 

Lastly, the house paint job is mostly finished.   The storm windows need to be re-installed and some details on the balcony and patio need to be taken care of.  None of is critical.  Installing the storm windows will be a quick job, and the bits of painting that are left can wait until next spring if necessary.  I am so glad to be done with the job.  But dw and I are really pleased with the result.  Except for the gable ends the colors are similar to the old scheme but are a bit brighter so the effect (we feel) is much more pleasing.  In the end dw did about 25% of the painting and I did nearly all of the rest.  The other help  mentioned largely concentrated on prep work --  That's actually a pretty big deal help-wise.  Picture on the left:  The Last Square Foot.  Above:  The Finished Product. 

I have been reading, and will get back to books read in my next entry.  And so it goes.  DA