I read in the paper (The Oregonian 10/9/11 -- Washington Post - Bloomberg) that Florida State Rep. Ritch Workman (R) has introduced a bill in Florida to rescind the ban on "dwarf-tossing". Workman claims that his measure isn't a jobs bill, but he also says it will enable a few little people to work instead of standing in an unemployment line, where, because of their limited stature they might not even be noticed.
(When I read the headline to dw she said: "Please tell me that's from the Onion".)
-- For anyone who doesn't know, "dwarf-tossing" is a tavern competition where some drunks see who can throw a small person the farthest. --
Regardless of the merits of this particular bill, Rep. (R) Workman is showing the all too common limitation that plagues politicians -- a limited imagination. While he's about it he needs to introduce a bill legalizing baby tossing. Baby tossing is an age-long, world-wide occupation.
In southern India, babies are thrown off a fifty foot tower and caught in a blanket held by several men -- to the enjoyment of everyone concerned (apparently even the babies since there's no record of a single baby complaint -- crying doesn't count since babies frequently cry for no reason at all). For people who don't have a baby, baby-rich people could rent out their children for tossing about. Traditionally babies -- particularly tossable babies -- make little if any effort to contribute to their family's finances -- so baby hurling would add an entire new class of work that would add to the GDP.
Since some people (probably liberals) might sneer at Baby Tossing as a low class sport it should be noted that English nobility threw babies around for a good many years (the infant brother of Henry IV died when somebody missed as he was being tossed from window to window -- The only recorded fatality connected with the sport -- so Baby Tossing is safer than rodeo bull riding and there's no need to find a 2000 pound bull)
Not that it concerns me (the Revolutionary War and all), but the English could widen the sport by tossing a few adult royals from window to window. The royals seem mostly to just ponce about and they could be be put to good use by being tossed about. As a tourist attraction I think watching Prince Charles tossed out a window would be a huge draw. He'd land on a giant air bag and the bookies could offer odds on whether (ear-wise) he'd fly or just glide.
And on the subject of royals I'm reminded of the great gaseous farts from the press regarding the recent Kardashian wedding. (According to the press) America's "royal wedding". As if. At least none of the English royals have ever released a porn video, although a few years ago Koo Stark had a lot of potential. And so it goes. DA
*Apologies to Jonathan Swift -- but he's been dead for 250 years, so why should he care?
(When I read the headline to dw she said: "Please tell me that's from the Onion".)
-- For anyone who doesn't know, "dwarf-tossing" is a tavern competition where some drunks see who can throw a small person the farthest. --
Regardless of the merits of this particular bill, Rep. (R) Workman is showing the all too common limitation that plagues politicians -- a limited imagination. While he's about it he needs to introduce a bill legalizing baby tossing. Baby tossing is an age-long, world-wide occupation.
In southern India, babies are thrown off a fifty foot tower and caught in a blanket held by several men -- to the enjoyment of everyone concerned (apparently even the babies since there's no record of a single baby complaint -- crying doesn't count since babies frequently cry for no reason at all). For people who don't have a baby, baby-rich people could rent out their children for tossing about. Traditionally babies -- particularly tossable babies -- make little if any effort to contribute to their family's finances -- so baby hurling would add an entire new class of work that would add to the GDP.
Since some people (probably liberals) might sneer at Baby Tossing as a low class sport it should be noted that English nobility threw babies around for a good many years (the infant brother of Henry IV died when somebody missed as he was being tossed from window to window -- The only recorded fatality connected with the sport -- so Baby Tossing is safer than rodeo bull riding and there's no need to find a 2000 pound bull)
Not that it concerns me (the Revolutionary War and all), but the English could widen the sport by tossing a few adult royals from window to window. The royals seem mostly to just ponce about and they could be be put to good use by being tossed about. As a tourist attraction I think watching Prince Charles tossed out a window would be a huge draw. He'd land on a giant air bag and the bookies could offer odds on whether (ear-wise) he'd fly or just glide.
And on the subject of royals I'm reminded of the great gaseous farts from the press regarding the recent Kardashian wedding. (According to the press) America's "royal wedding". As if. At least none of the English royals have ever released a porn video, although a few years ago Koo Stark had a lot of potential. And so it goes. DA
*Apologies to Jonathan Swift -- but he's been dead for 250 years, so why should he care?
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