To Fire One's Stern Guns

aka:  A fusillade from one's fundament. 
  " And in winter, under my greatcoat, I wrapped myself in swathes of newspaper, and did not shed them until the earth awoke, for good, in April.  The Times Literary Supplement was admirably adapted to this purpose, of unfailing toughness and impermeability.  Even farts made no impression on it.  I can't help it, gas escapes from my fundament on the least pretext, it's hard not to mention it now and then,  however great my distaste.  One day I counted them.  Three hundred and fifteen farts in nineteen hours, or an average of over sixteen farts  an hour.  After all, it's not excessive.  Four farts every fifteen minutes.  It's nothing.  Not even one fart every four minutes.  It's unbelievable.  Damn it, I hardly fart at all, I should never have mentioned it.  Extraordinary how mathematics helps you to know yourself."  "Molloy" -- Samuel Beckett. 
   And that's why I occasionally read things like "Fermat"s Last Theorem"  DA

An Event At The Rock Gym

   Which fortunately didn't include me or my climbing partner.   Bob D. and I had just completed one climb when we heard a loud thump from another part of the gym.  A couple (man and woman) were practicing falls and the woman dropped the guy.  He fell about forty feet.  I didn't actually see the fall, so I don't know whether she really screwed up and just dropped him or whether she couldn't control the fall.  In any case he was awake and able to move (the gym floor has padding) though obviously hurt.  EMT guys strapped him to a board for possible neck or back injuries.   I didn't go to assist (before the ambulance got there) because there were several people closer, and I didn't see anyone trying to do something stupid like moving him  -- I figured my 20-year-out-of-date first aid card wouldn't be useful.
   Both of the climbers were (are) better than I am, and at late 20's or early 30's, old enough to have outgrown the dumbs.  I've mixed feelings about practicing falls.  It certainly can be useful (although I don't do it -- intentionally anyway) but it's also an invitation to disaster.  Another reminder to be careful when climbing, even at the gym. 
   Riding the bike back home, I was passed by another cyclist -- not surprising in itself -- but this guy looked like an old, disreputable street-person.  He was riding a Trek commuter bike.  I admit I made an assumption regarding how he got the bike, but the interesting part of it all was the open tall-boy can of Millers in the water-bottle cage.  I haven't seen that before, but so it goes.  DA

Easter Bonnets

   Unfortunately (and unusually) I didn't actually see any.  I bicycled to the gym this morning, passing, both going and coming, several churches.  But I guess my timing was off because I missed any parade of ladies in their Easter Bonnets, a sight I've enjoyed in the past.  Even the LifeLine Church, a corner store-front church, which is usually good for some nice heavy bass thumping music, was quiet as I passed.  I could actually go to church and get the spectacle, along with (some might say) some needed religion but once again I failed to do so. 
   Speaking of bonnets, a few days ago, I heard a milliner interviewed on NPR.  She was speaking of Kate's (of Bill & Kate) preference for wearing "fascinators" -- a small beanie-like hat (without a propeller) frequently made of tinsel and sequins, or feathers.  I don't know what sort of feathers but I doubt they are from some chicken who gave it's all for buffalo wings and  fascinators.   It seems a bit twee to me, but I think a proper hat will keep the sun out of your eyes and the rain off your glasses. 
   The gym was more strenuous than usual.  My climbing partner (John G.) was having a health problem (of undetermined seriousness) so I down-climbed every climb.   Easing the strain on John (he didn't have to lower me) and nearly doubling my exertions.  (Easing the strain on John:  It doesn't help that I out-weigh him by 60 lbs. or so)  Anyway an unusually rigorous workout. 
   As a gym side-bar:  Part of the bike ride there is on Tillamook St.  -- It's an interesting street, with several blocks of small, working-class victorians -- most in poor to medium condition, but restorations are starting.  Mid-way on the south side of one block, some resident owns (or drives) a Mercedes sports-car, coupe.  (Not the 100+G model, but the 40someG -- nearly chump-change -- model)  It's always parked in the street, and the owner always puts an orange traffic cone by each corner of the car.  I can't really blame the driver, but if some toss-pot is going to side-swipe your car I doubt that traffic cones will help. 
   And leaving the library this afternoon, I found a dime on the sidewalk.  Only twenty-four more and I can buy a latte.  DA
  

At Home

   And everything is pretty much as it was when we left.  The drive from Alturas, through Klamath Falls, Willamette Pass and the freeway home was uneventful.  Heavy rain started at the summit of the pass and continued through Salem.  After that it faded away and Portland was largely dry.  Today (Sunday) has been sunny and a bit cool.  I mowed the lawn and washed the cars.  dw did laundry and some housework. 
   dw and I each have a hint of a tan but otherwise our normal lives have returned.  Oh boy.  DA

Goodbye Mr. Sun

   This evening we're in Alturas California well into our drive back to rain.  We got into some serious clouds at Reno and have been getting light to moderate showers since half-way to Susanville.  The route from Tonopah to Austin, which we haven't driven before, was pleasant, unexceptional, desert basin and range scenery.  At Austin we headed west on Hwy 50 (The Loneliest Road In America) stopping once near Middlegate at the site of the shoe tree. 
   The shoe tree was a large (3 foot trunk) cottonwood that over the years people have thrown shoes into -- laces tied together so they tangle in the limbs and hang like fruit.  The tree was started  some years ago,  reputedly by a couple of newlyweds who had an argument, one threw shoes into the tree, they reconciled and the other threw shoes, blah, blah, blah.  In any case it was a great piece of folk something-or-other with thousands of pairs of shoes hanging on it.  Until January 4, 2011 when somebody cut it down. 

   People have started throwing shoes into a nearby cottonwood (we contributed to the effort) but it'll take time to create the same spectacle. 
   In Fallon we got a pulled pork  sandwich at Susie's BBQ --- a good sandwich -- the guy who took our order asked if we wanted bread on that sandwich.  ----  We did. 
   Here in Alturas we're staying at the Hacienda Motel, and had a burger at the Bear Creek Cafe.  Both good places, neither exceptional.  Possibly we'll be home tomorrow -- barring coming across something interesting enough to delay the drive.  DA

Yeah, the shoe tree was definitely the highlight of the day.  Flying by at 70 mph and cruise control I saw the cottonwood with tied-together pairs of shoes and screeched to a halt.  Dennis was coughing up a lung after inhaling a bit of food and said "what?!"  I said "you'll see" and returned to the tree.  There in the ditch was the cut-down old one surrounded by piles and piles of tied together shoes - mostly hiking boots and running shoes - very few, if any, high heels - weird.  But new life emerges from the old and a nearby tree was accumulating shoes.  Someone made a small shrine and there were notes of condolence on the stump of the downed tree.  Two official Nevada trucks pulled in and three men observed the tree wreckage.  One mentioned that the person who cut it down knew what they were doing because a 3 foot diameter tree is not offed with a weekend warrior chainsaw - you need a logging chainsaw to down a tree that big.  They still haven't found the perp and I find that very hard to believe because eventually someone is going to brag.  It was sad and inspiring at the same time.  We pulled out pairs of shoes, not an easy task as they were very tangled being tied together, and threw them on the new tree.  Nice to be part of a new endeavor. 

The sun is gone and the memories remain (plus a tiny tan on my forearms).  It's all good.  dw

Anniversary Day -- 20 Years

   I have been instructed to wax poetic about the Delights and Wonders of the Last Twenty Years: ( because today is our 20th wedding anniversary! dw)
"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered --"  hmmm, that doesn't seem to fit the bill.  --- "The stag at eve had drunk his fill --- "  --- not relevant --- "Jack and Jill --- " also not relevant -- my crown is still intact and we are dandd not JandJ -- Oh well, waxing poetic isn't my strong suit.
   We got an early start (for us) -- bathed, fed, packed and on the road by 9:15.  Our first stop was Valley of Fire State Park.  It far exceeded our expectations.  State parks are always OK, but often just OK.  The Valley of Fire was exceptional.  A cornucopia of color:  red, pink, orange, tan and mauve.  Rocks large and small heavily pitted with solution holes.  Slick rock slopes and zebra striped rocks.  Well worth a side trip.  While there we took a short hike down to the site of an old film set and back.  The park would be worth a longer visit than we gave it.  

   After the park, we drove the Extraterrestrial Highway.  Stopping at Rachel for a photo of the only surviving store (the Alien Cowpoke is closed ).  We looked and looked but didn't see any extraterrestrials  (although we did see two suspicious black cows).
   Today's drive ended in Tonopah, NV at the Jim Butler Inn and Suites -- a small local motel.  It's nice enough with the expected features and we like to buy local.   Dinner at The Sidewinder, a new family-affair restaurant.  We walked in and were greeted by the hostess --"Hi, may I seat you?"  She's some one's pre-teen daughter and with her co-worker bus-boy -- some one's pre-teen son represent the youngest generation.  Both cute and enthused (sorry about the "cute",  young man, if you read this).  dw had three very good fish tacos with sweet potato fries and avocado aioli sauce.  I had a burger with fries -- both very good and made from scratch.  They were a little too cool -- I think the kitchen needs to work on it's timing but I would recommend the place, a strong thumb's up.  Tomorrow we'll go through Austin -- driving the road we meant to take going south and should end the day somewhere in southern Oregon.  DA

Happy Anniversary to us.  Twenty years and looking forward to the next twenty!  Lovely sunny warm and windy day as we left Las Vegas.  This may be the last sun we have in awhile judging from the newspaper weather reports of pretty much every place north of here.  It's been lovely and the Valley of Fire was a pleasant final tourist site.  The wildflowers were in bloom too.  All in all a wonderful vacation.  dw

Last Day In Vegas

   Today we spent more time driving than we meant to.  We went to Mt. Charleston (NW of Vegas) which was a pleasant but definitely  missable experience,  and a 100 mile round trip to boot.  After that we returned to Red Rocks and took a short hike -- with a real 5.1 climbing section (5') -- to look at the Black Corridor.  Another place I've climbed with David N.  The Corridor is a short slot canyon with thirty or so climbs on either side -- all of it in two hundred feet.  We also stopped at the visitor center (new -- 2000 -- and very nice) where dw took the time to tell a bronze snake who was boss.
   After that we again stopped at the Red Rocks Casino for more truffle fries and this time a plate of hummus.  We both lost $2 and then came back to the motel and our books. 
   Some incidentals:  A cell phone can erase key cards (oops).  And Wynn's casino is also a Maserati / Ferrari dealer.  For $10 you can go into the showroom (Maserati/Ferrari owners get in free) and get your picture taken with -- possibly sitting in -- a Ferrari.  I wonder if they put a rubber sheet on the seat to keep a bit of separation between the common and the Ferrari.  And finally, at the Atomic Museum one interactive exhibit featured a Geiger counter, a couple of radioactive objects and several bits of screening material (the goal was to see what things would block radioactivity).  It proved to my satisfaction that lining your hat with aluminum foil won't work, but leaded vinyl will work fine.  DA

Steve Wynn Gnashes His Teeth

   Yesterday we took a hike up Pine Creek Canyon.  It was a short hike (3+) miles and fairly flat, but not having worn our hiking boots for some time, plus the rocky trail and a bit of scrambling and bush-whacking made us realize we've each lost some of our keen-edged conditioning.   Along the way I looked at a climb David N. and I did a few years ago.  It was one of my favorite climbs and I was interested in seeing it again. 
   After the hike we spent the evening on The Strip.  We spent most of the time at Wynn's,  walking out clear winners:  $4.60 to the good.   After we left there we walked a bit along Las Vegas Boulevard and went into the Palazzo where we did little but look around.  In reality the casinos all look similar.  There are some differences in decor and color scheme but you could switch any part from one to another and few would notice.  We also looked about to see if there were any shows we want to see.  At $100+ per ticket there aren't.  This evening we got a couple of guides to entertainment to see if there are any off-strip shows we're interested in and there don't seem to be any. 
   Today (Tuesday)  after a leisurely breakfast (courtesy the motel)  --- as a side note:  unlike most motel-courtesy-breakfasts, the breakfasts here are actually worth eating --- After breakfast we went to the Atomic Test Museum.  It was very interesting -- not kid-friendly (too much reading stuff) -- and very informative.  We spent an hour and a half there, although we skimmed the last bit -- interesting but long.  And after that we continued on to The Gun Shop where we were going to shoot some guns.  ("Eat lead, dirt bag!!)  dw selected a 9mm Glock and I selected a 45 S&W.  After paying and standing in line for a bit, we realized we would be in line for an hour or so, so we got a refund and left.  We plan to return the morning of our LV departure.  (get our return-home trip off to a blazing start).  I may yet get a full-auto machine gun to shoot, but so far I've balked at the price  --

   After The Gun Shop, we drove to Hoover Dam (nee Boulder Dam) to look at and walk over the new gorge spanning bridge.  The dam is a stunning art-deco sight (the water in Lake Mead is WAY down -- 50 -  75 feet or more) and the bridge is an impressive addition.  Then back to the motel for an evening of reading.  The excitement is continuous.  DA

Big Winners In Sin City

   We arrived in Las Vegas at about 4 this afternoon.  dw found a motel (Hampton Inn) on the internet and we're staying there.  The Inn is nice and moderately priced, located on the west side of town about 10 miles from the strip.  We decided to pass on staying at one of the big casinos since their interest and entertainment value is only good for a couple of hours if you're not gambling.

   After we had rested a bit from the drive, we drove further west (attn: David N.) on Charleston Ave.  That area has really built up since I was last here (climbing with D.N.) including a big new casino -- Red Rocks Casino -- We stopped at the casino, did some gambling (dw won $9.88 and I won $1.75 !!!) had a side order of fries with truffle oil and parmesan cheese -- delicious -- and drove back to the motel, stopping at Whole Foods on the way. 
(dw:  It's warm and SUNNY)
 We're now lolling on the beds -- snacking on moderately healthy food in lieu of a dinner -- fully sated with the gambling excitement.
   The drive between Fallon and Las Vegas was moderately interesting -- desert mountain scenery.  We stopped at Hawthorne for breakfast (at Maggie's) where I  had an OK eggs/sausage/hash-browns breakfast and dw had the "worst pancake I've ever had" breakfast.  Just north of Hawthorne the road passes a large Army Munitions depot with hundreds of windowless buildings and bunkers, and just south of Hawthorne he road passes the Naval Undersea Warfare Center.  dw said something very like:  "IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE EFFING DESERT!"  DA

Yeah, that Naval Undersea Warfare Center was very weird.  Undersea?  There's no sea within a thousand miles - maybe they scuba dive in the nearby lake?  And how can you kill breakfast?  Someone did.  I didn't even eat it.  The sun here in southern Nevada makes up for all of it.  Let me say it again.  It's sunny here and that's all that matters.  Viva Las Vegas!!!!!! dw

Second Day

This time I'm going to try to get some pics in.  First -- just a roadside view south of Burns.  And from a billboard in Bend:  "Don't drive with chest pain" --  How could they have possibly known?  I consider it an invasion of privacy.  Also near Bend -- a ratty tent, tarp leanto, campfire encampment just off the road and very close to a nice faux-abobe building.  I suggested the building owner probably didn't like the tenter much but dw suggested the tenter was a second cousin from California who wasn't allowed to stay in the adobe house. 
   After the motel in Redmond,  we drove through Burns, Winnemucca, and are now in a Motel 6 in Fallon, Nevada.
   South of Burns we passed a cattle drive -- 50 cows (200 legs) three cowboys and a dog.  The West is alive and well.  In Burns we were up-close witnesses to a fender-bender between a giant red Ford pickup and a VW Beetle.  We just passed an intersection, found we were going in the wrong direction so I made a u-turn, which MIGHT have distracted the giant red pickup -- stopped at a stop sign --who pulled into the intersection and got broad-sided by the bug.  Everyone was going slow and damage was minimal.
   A noon highlight was the dead cow a mile north of Crane.  We don't really know it was dead.  We didn't stop to check it's pulse or anything, but it was either dead or was trying some sort of horizonal stiff-legged yoga trick. 
   North of Winnemucca a series of billboards advertised:  "A cold beer"  -- "A pretty lady to sit on your lap" -- "Truck access" -- "Wildhorse Saloon" --- Since we're in a small Honda 2-door sedan instead of a truck we decided not to stop.  Besides I didn't think dw would want a lady sitting on her lap, and If I have a woman sitting on my lap, I don't want her to be a lady either. 
   We  met some light snow flurries starting  at the Blue Mountain Pass (S. of Burns) and they continued through Winnemucca (with one heavy flurry)  -- in light of that we changed our planned route and have come through Fallon, instead of driving south from Winn.  to Austin and over a 7500' pass. 

   Here in Fallon we found a barber shop that could have been named for us:   And we passed an art gallery with a painting "Fortune Dreaming" that seems to be a pic of a woman getting it on with a carp.  We got some tex-mex for dinner and now we're watching "As Time Goes By" on PBS and eating an orange. DA

Road trip - again!

Yes, we are on the road again and I have been guilt tripped into blogging.  Well, it was originally my idea but that was because I wanted to keep a journal of our adventures and that was so easy when we had adventures.   Today's road trip began with an auspicious call from Vicki at work asking if I wanted the day off.  Hello.  Of course, I want the day off.  Checking in with Dennis about leaving early as we had spent the entire morning packing, organizing and cleaning he said "may as well".  We were on the road at 3pm and forty minutes later arrived at the hospital where I needed to stop before leaving town.  It wasn't as bad as I feared - the traffic, that is.  A sunny Friday afternoon is not the best time to try to get out of town.  Please note the first sun in weeks and we are leaving town!  Figures.  Let's remember the reason - upcoming 20 year anniversary of marital bliss and where better to spend it than the delights of Las Vegas?  The chosen route is through Bend, Burns, Winnemucca, Tonopah and eventually Las Vegas.  So far we've made it to Redmond, OR.   Flashy evening sun piercing the dark rain clouds off to the west was the best photo-op so far.  Audiobook is Flannery O'Connor short stories - a bit gruesome some of them but that's Flannery.  Plenty of snow at Government Camp but none of it on the roads.  Life is good.  Later, dw
   As dw said traffic out of town wasn't bad, and had totally thinned out by the time we hit Sandy.  We had looked at road cams before we left and most of the passes looked pretty bad but 26 was just wet from snow melt.  The warm afternoon did the trick.  E. Oregon is spring greenish, there's still low snow on the hills (roadside snow started at 1500') the air got chilly this evening and a few drops of rain fell.  All in all, no surprises for early April.  DA

On The Road Again

   We're getting ready for a short (one week) road trip.  Probably we'll drive to Las Vegas, perhaps attend a show, certainly do some desert hikes and then come home.  Mostly it's a trip to get away from Portland rain and gloom. (and also to celebrate our 20th anniversary -- it doesn't seem that long)   dw is working today so I tended to stopping the mail and newspaper, confirming the house sitter, getting some books on tape and car snacks, etc. etc.  (I went to the gym this morning -- rode my bike) And still have had plenty of time to do the errands.  Prep for traveling is routine by now. 
   The local Eagles Lodge is having their annual fund-raising carnival.  It's a modest affair with four or five rides, a fun house, corn dogs and cotton candy.  A four booth arcade completes the event.  All unremarkable except they have it every year at this time.  It's always cold and wet (but the neon lights on the rides and booths make nice reflections in the puddles and are nicely blurred by the rain) and I don't understand how they make enough money to make it worth while.  And of course the carnival (Clark Shows Northwest) takes their cut off the top.  It's a mystery.  Perhaps they're running a very subtle money laundering scheme.  Perhaps they're in cahoots with the next door Fabic Wod.  
   (Fabic Wod is a fabric store four blocks from our house.  It has been up and running for more than 20 years and yet we NEVER see anyone shopping there.  dw thinks they are laundering money.  Maybe as much as a couple of hundred a month.  Over the years their original sign, "Fabric World" lost several letters and became "Fabic Wod")
   I had a minor -- read the label -- wake-up call a few days ago.  I've been taking Metamucil three times a day for several months.  It's supposed to help reduce cholesterol and the Metamucil plus oatmeal and the statin drugs all have done their job -- my cholesterol levels are excellent.  (re: this topic, on another time I'll toss in a few fart jokes -- always welcome in moderation)   Back to the point -- Metamucil is HALF SUGAR -- glucose to be precise.  Glucose, fructose, sucrose, etc. they're ALL SUGAR.  So this supposedly healthful product is half sugar.  There's nothing wrong with sugar -- in it's place -- I enjoy the occasional candy bar -- I just had one three hours ago -- But making your colon-blow 50% sugar is over the top.  I've switched to a different brand. 
   I'm reading "The Science of Fear" by Daniel Gardner.  It's about how advertisers, politicians, etc promote and encourage fear to sell, or to get your vote, or to make you hate someone.  And I finished "I Am The Only Running Footman" by Martha Grimes.  I enjoy her books, she's not quite a cozy mystery writer and she generally suits my mood.  Actually, I read the book some time ago but I didn't recognize it until I was 2/3's of the way done.  Mysteries are good that way (for me).  I only need a half dozen or so because I never remember them.  On a six month cycle six novels will see me through a couple of years DA

Facebook

    I'm inching my way into the 21st century.  I have a cell phone, and I opened a Facebook page.  I'm considering Twitter.  I'm also sympathetic to the position of my friend Bob D. who refuses any of the above (except for the cell phone) because he fears that if he starts he'll spend all day tweeting and blogging.  Now that I have the Facebook page I think I should do something with it -- get more friends, post comments, post pictures and comment on comments -- and keep up with this blog. -- whew! connecting is a lot of work!  Particularly for someone who's basically asocial.  Everyone else has hundreds of friends and I have six.  My next step will be to get seven friends, then I'll stop and see how it's working out. 
   Yesterday I had another doctor's appointment.  It was primarily just a physical  (the internal medicine guy insists on that silliness before he'll renew my gout prescription -- He might  know me too well)  I don't have the lab work back yet but it'll probably be fine.  Nothing stood out during the hands on part of the event.  I rode my bike to the dr.'s office.  About 20 blocks from the office I had a flat tire.  A loud pop, and the tire came partly off the rim.  (I suspect the guy who fixed the rim the other day didn't re-mount the tire properly)
Anyway I didn't have time to fix the tire, so I walked the last 20 blocks.  I wasn't wearing my knee brace and the walk got pretty uncomfortable, and I had some words to say (mostly to myself) about the the world and the bicycle guy .  I was generally quiet with my comments (I didn't want to frighten the horses or the women and children) but I must say I was emphatic.
   This evening dw and I watched "Midnight Run"  from the library.  A fun movie (Robert DeNiro and Charles Grodin)  25 years old (smoking on an airplane).  And I just finished reading "Operation Mincemeat" by Ben Macintyre -- It's about a WWII allied spy operation designed to fool the Germans prior to the invasion of Sicily (it worked).  There was a previous book (The Man Who Never Was) as well as a movie but this book is more complete.  An interesting read.    DA