I Did It So You Don't Have To

A while ago, dw and I were sitting around of an evening, idly reading --- some travel show on PBS providing background noise --- basically bored and boring. We agreed that our lives were lacking a certain je ne sais quoi, that we needed to step out of our comfort zone and get more variety in our lives.

Pursuing that thought, a few weeks ago I decided to get a concealed carry permit (hereafter known as a ccp). Not that I am likely to carry a concealed weapon, but I was curious about the permitting process, particularly how restrictive it is. My parents gave me a 30-30 rifle when I turned 13 and I've owned a gun of one sort or another since then. However, not so oddly, I've never felt the need to carry a concealed gun. Also, not so oddly, I've never been in a situation where I felt a gun would improve things. (Except for the times I've gone hunting. While I had limited success I did think the gun was more efficient than a rock or a stick would have been)

(A friend who I put down as a reference said: "I'd never get one of those, I'd be sure to shoot somebody." -- He owns a boat moorage and a couple of rental houses -- he doesn't seem to attract the cream of the crop as renters)

The NRA seems to think everyone should have any weapon they want and carry it wherever they want. That sort of makes sense -- "Dick" Cheney, for example: He nearly missed when he used a shotgun to shoot that guy in the face, but if he had a Predator Drone it would have been a sure thing. And a Predator would make snipe hunting easier (let alone golf -- you could put the holes wherever you wanted them -- and the holes would be a more satisfying size) I'm not so ambitious. I'm just curious about a simple .45 magnum and a simple quick-draw shoulder holster.

In the event, I signed up for a ccp class. I'm now going to write down everything I learned so you too can get a ccp.

The 30 or 40 people in the class were a bit surprising: Most were 40 and above and a slight majority were women.               
There was only one younger guy who seemed to be a bit primitive, and another guy who (I'm guessing) seemed to be worried about blue-helmeted U.N. armies in black helicopters.
     (By golly, with his AK-47 and pistol and ccp he'd show them blue foreigners. He was prepared to
      defend his two bedroom -- in need of repairs -- ranch against all comers)
But most were ordinary middle-aged people (Look out! Grandma's packing heat! And she's mad as hell and she's not gonna take it anymore!!)

On to the lessons:

Number One: Safety. Don't shoot yourself. No, Really! Don't shoot yourself.

Two: These are some different types of guns. (Don't be absurd, of course you can't actually touch them. Just because you're going to get a ccp doesn't mean the instructor thinks you should handle a gun)

Three: These are some different types of ammunition. (They're cut in half or otherwise de-activated so you can touch these)

Four: Video of armed citizens in action. Scene: with the subtlety of Elmer Fudd stalking Bugs Bunny a bad guy sneaks up on a woman. She whips out her revolver with a speed that would have made Wyatt Earp proud and thwarts the villain. The class got to watch several variations of this scene. We were inspired.

Five: If you shoot someone, don't talk to the police, or anyone else. Get a lawyer.

Six: Over half of the class time (about 2 hours) was spent filling out the application forms. (The forms are available on line. If you can read this, you won't need 2 hours to fill them out.)

Silly me. Before the class I thought there might be some actual discussions or information on gun safety. Where applicants might go to get some real practical practice with gun handling. Some actual real-world information like: If you think you need to pull out your gun, just get the hell out of there.

The whole thing was astonishingly useless. However, I sent my application to Utah (!)  and now, thanks to reciprocal agreements between states, I can carry a concealed weapon in nearly 40 states. Oregon, I'm happy to say, takes a little longer so if I want to shove an assault rifle down my pants and carry it concealed, I have to go to Washington or Idaho.

The entire thing was appalling.

Books: It's more browsing than reading straight through, but: ...isms ... understanding architectural styles (Jeremy Melvin) it concisely explains architectural styles -- with illustrations -- from Pre-Classicism through Meta-rationalism (!?). It's inclusive and informative. A foot deep and a mile wide. It satisfies my architectural need to know.
   and The Nothing That Is -- A Natural History of Zero (Robert Kaplan) I'm re-reading this book. It's everything I need to know about zero and more besides. It's tough sledding in places.  As a history of  zero, it also applies to the ccp class.

Word of the day: It seems like this should come up several times a day: Malversation -- Corrupt behavior in a position, office, or position of trust.

Finally: "Privilege and self-interest are most likely to triumph when they can be concealed behind a mask of severity" (Pliny the Younger) -- Tea-Party and the Koch brothers anyone?   and so it goes DJA.