MULTI-TASKING
Most people have hobbies. Some, such as taking afternoon naps, can be immensely rewarding, though if you snore probably not for others. Some, such as carving garden gnomes out of soap, are merely temporarily rewarding if you live in a rainy climate because, even if you use Ivory Soap, the dissolving soap will look lopsided and pathetic and then damage your garden. Even so, in spite of the social and artistic hazards, I have hobbies:
I have more hobbies than I can shake a stick at (a hobby I've abandoned) but the two I practice most are walking and sneezing: they work very well together. If you're civilized (a hobby I sporadically practice) you really can't have a good sneeze in public, you have to stifle it and it feels like your head is exploding; you have to cover your mouth with a tissue or handkerchief and you just get a "AAAsnuphh" which isn't satisfying at all ---- But when you're walking on an empty path or sidewalk, you can just let it rip with a satisfying explosion and spray and not worry about appearances at all. You let the world know: I'm Sneezing!! and the world can be damned.
Three days ago, near the end of an easy walk (a few miles, nearly level) I was next to a long six foot high, solid boarded fence when I sneezed: It was a magnificent sneeze, a solid nine out of ten, and it inspired three dogs on the other side of the fence. They started vigorously barking, trying (a good attempt, but still failing) to match the vigor of my sneeze. I'm not skilled at translating dog talk, but I'm sure they were blessing me "Gesundheit!!" I courteously (another sporadic hobby) thanked them. They sounded like schnauzers. I finished my walk, invigorated and pleased, Then I took a nap.
--------------
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx (?)
--------------
Estornudo (Spanish) -- now there's a proper sneeze. It calls to mind a tornado, a storm; just like a proper sneeze should. *** Nysa (Swedish) -- I'm a quarter Swede, but what's up with this? This isn't a real sneeze, this is what a new-born baby might do; a baby who hasn't figured out he or she doesn't need to be cross eyed. Naturally a proper sneeze is beyond a little baby, but come on Sweden, once you conquered most of Northern Europe and Russia, you can do better. *** Knxahe (Bulgarian) --- Huh? They don't actually sneeze in Bulgaria? *** Teshtij (Albanian) -- A reasonable effort, but stifling at the end needs to go; the country isn't under the thumb of Stalin (or his heirs) any more, so take my advice and just let it rip! *** Eternuer French (Canada) -- I guess they don't actually sneeze in Canada. I've been to Canada multiple times and now that I mention it, I have never heard a Canadian sneeze.
--------------
Morosophist: An ignorant person who thinks he knows it all.
--------------
You can't make everyone happy. What do you think you are? Tequila?
--------------
And so it goes.
